January 8, 2013 in Features

The Slice: You ain’t nothin’ but a Marmot

By The Spokesman-Review

If the Elvis movies were remade with all-marmot casts, the storylines wouldn’t have to change much.

“Love Me Tender”: A sensitive rodent’s older brother returns from the Civil War.

“Loving You”: A young rock chuck ’n’ roller learns about life and love.

“Jailhouse Rock”: Animal inmates sing and dance.

“King Creole”: Marmots in the Big Easy.

“GI Blues”: Singing rodent adjusts to life in the Army.

“Flaming Star”: Stripped to the waist, marmots ride horses.

“Wild in the Country”: Animals behaving like animals.

“Blue Hawaii”: Marmots whirl and hop in floral shirts.

“Follow That Dream”: Spokane marmots play the lottery.

“Kid Galahad”: Furry creature climbs into the boxing ring.

“Girls! Girls! Girls!”: Boy marmots cavort during spring break.

“It Happened At The World’s Fair”: Burrow-based fun at Expo ’74.

“Fun in Acapulco”: Cliff-diving marmots in Mexico.

“Kissin’ Cousins”: The raw truth about animal husbandry.

“Viva Las Vegas”: Rodents have a swingin’ time in Sin City.

“Roustabout”: Circus marmot learns about love under the big top.

“Girl Happy”: One of God’s creatures feels the need to breed.

“Tickle Me”: A tourist at Riverfront Park loses a finger.

“Harum Scarum”: Standard marmots and Arabs fare.

“Frankie and Johnny”: Toothsome antics on a riverboat.

“Paradise, Hawaiian Style”: Marmots throw a luau.

“Spinout”: Rodents chew up hoses in race cars.

“Easy Come, Easy Go”: Songs and sighing.

“Double Trouble”: Sighing and songs.

“Clambake”: Marmots party down.

“Stay Away, Joe”: A marmot named Joe is told to stay away.

“Speedway”: Marmots wear helmets and crash.

“Live a Little, Love a Little”: Marmots get existential.

“Charro!”: Rodents go nuts with exclamation points!

“The Trouble With Girls”: Marmots date, hilarity ensues.

“Change of Habit”: A marmot who is a doctor falls for a marmot nun.

Today’s Slice question: What’s it like having the same birthday as Elvis?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. I knew Marion Keisker.

Get stories like this in a free daily email

Please keep it civil. Don't post comments that are obscene, defamatory, threatening, off-topic, an infringement of copyright or an invasion of privacy. Read our forum standards and community guidelines.

You must be logged in to post comments. Please log in here or click the comment box below for options.

comments powered by Disqus