January 26, 2013 in Features

To grandparents: It does get better

Kathy Mitchell
 

Dear Annie: I would like to reply to “Arizona Grandparents,” whose daughter won’t allow them to see their grandchild. They asked whether it will ever get better.

My granddaughter was 6 when my son and his wife divorced and I was no longer allowed to see her. I continued to send her a card and money on every birthday and at Christmas. I never heard back and had no idea whether she received them. Her other grandmother kept me informed from time to time and even sent me her fifth-grade picture. When she was 14, my granddaughter wrote me a nice letter. I was ecstatic! I wrote her back, but heard nothing.

I had no money for a lawyer and didn’t want to do anything that would put me completely out of contact. My son lived halfway across the country. When my granddaughter was 17, my son found her Facebook page. After her 18th birthday, I called her, and she was happy to hear from me. She lived only two hours away. We met at a central location and had a wonderful reunion. Since then, we’ve been in regular contact. She is now 23, married and expecting her first child.

So, Arizona Grandma, don’t give up. Just do what you can, and hopefully your story will end as happily as mine. – A Happy Grandma

Dear Grandma: We heard from many grandparents, most of whom had happy endings. Like this one:

Indiana: Your response to “Arizona Grandparents” was right on. My husband and I have had to deal with the same type of mean-spirited behavior from our eldest daughter. Tell them to keep in touch with their 7-year-old granddaughter with cards for her birthday, Christmas gifts and acknowledgments of the important times in her life. Our grandson is now 22 and in the Navy, and we get to chat and see him when he comes home. It does hurt when you are cut off, but in time, it can turn out OK. Please tell them there is always hope. They are not alone.

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