The Slice: Let’s party like it’s XLVII

There’s still time to invite me to your Super Bowl party.

I promise to behave myself.

The first mention of my plan to visit as many SB bashes as I could next Sunday prompted several invitations. Thanks to these brave hosts. You are all at the top of my list.

But there are still openings on the dance card an S-R photographer and I will fill in later this week.

OK, I know what you are thinking. In fact, I’ll prove it. Here are the Top 13 reasons you have hesitated to invite us.

13. You fear we will go through your medicine cabinet. (Well, sure. But you can hide the dicey stuff.)

12. You think we will make fun of you and your guests. (Not so.)

11. The idea of having a newspaper photographer take pictures in your house gives you chills. (It will be fine.)

10. “That guy? No way!” (Well, uh, all right.)

9. You fear our presence would make things weird for your guests. (A reasonable concern. But here’s the thing. We hope to visit a lot of parties. So we would make things weird at your place for just a little while.)

8. You assume we want to visit only upscale neighborhoods. (Not so.)

7. You think you live too far out. (Let us be the judge of that.)

6. You didn’t vote for many of the candidates the S-R editorial board endorsed. (That’s OK. Neither did I.)

5. You think we only want to visit parties where the attendees actually care about football. (Pshaw.)

4. You are still mad because I didn’t print something you sent me in 1992. (Sorry. That happens.)

3. You are afraid your party won’t have much of a turnout and you will be embarrassed. (It’s true that we hope to drop in on lively gatherings. But who among us doesn’t have empathy for those with courage enough to host a party?)

2. You fear being judged. (That’s understandable. Having people over can be trying – let alone a couple of guys from the newspaper. I guess you’ll just have to trust me.)

1. You have forgotten that I’m not really a total stranger. (Think about it. You do sort of know me already.)

Today’s Slice question: What do you suppose your neighbors say about your household’s comings and goings?