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Neighbors aim to seek shelter in a storm

Wed., July 17, 2013

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We live on a small cul-de-sac in a gated community in an area where hurricanes are not uncommon. As a consequence, we invested in a whole-house generator.

We have lived in the area only a short time, but our next-door neighbors made clear their expectations of us early on. They told us they would help themselves to the limes from our lime tree, for example. They have also told us on more than one occasion that when weather causes a power outage, they expect to stay with us. When a hurricane is approaching, we don’t how to gently dissuade them from moving in with us.

GENTLE READER: When a hurricane is approaching, it will be a bit late to turn people from your door. Simple humanity requires you to protect even disagreeable people from imminent danger.

Your neighbors do sound disagreeable, and as they do not recognize boundaries, as it were, you do need to establish some rules. About those limes, for example. At the time they announced intentions to steal them, you could have asked pleasantly what they proposed to give you in return. And even now, you can drop the remark that you are planning to use all those limes, so if they were serious about pilfering, would they please kindly refrain.

You should also have a talk about hurricanes. “I’m concerned about you, because we may not be able to help,” you can say. “When a hurricane happens to strike, it could be at a time when we are away, or we could have a full house. You really need to plan for your own safety.”

Alternatively, you could revert to the idea of reciprocity. “As we have the generator, and you plan to come here, why don’t you help us stock up for emergencies? If you would provide canned goods and water now, we’ll keep them here for when we all need them.”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website,; to her email, dearmissmanners@; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


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