July 30, 2013 in Features

Parents’ money going to niece

Kathy Mitchell
 

Dear Annie: My niece is transgender (she’s a boy who wants to be a girl). She needs to take a hormone blocker, and it costs a fortune. Insurance won’t pay for it, so the whole family is chipping in.

My brother-in-law doesn’t make much money, and he’s lazy. My parents paid most of their bills when they were first married, and they are giving my niece so much money that we cannot have our annual vacation. My parents will be giving them more money in a few months.

Meanwhile, my niece gets everything she wants. My mother recently bought her a $200 outfit for her birthday. I suggested she get something less expensive because she is already paying a fortune for the hormone blocker. My parents now can’t send me to the university of my choice, so I have to opt for community college. I worked like a horse to get straight A’s, but still didn’t qualify for a scholarship big enough to cover the cost of the university. Taking out a loan is out of the question, because my parents won’t co-sign, and the bank won’t give me one without it.

I think my sister should sell her jewelry to pay for the drugs, and she and my brother-in-law should downgrade to a smaller home if they need the money. My mother says I’m being selfish. Am I? – Missing Out

Dear Missing: This is your parents’ money. They can choose to give more to your sister (and her child), rather than pay for an expensive university education for you. We realize this isn’t fair, but it serves no purpose to build up resentment. You can get a perfectly good education at a community college for a fraction of the cost, and if you still want to attend a four-year university, you can look into transferring in two years, and research scholarships, grants and loans that may be available then. Your parents obviously believe your sister needs this money more than you do, which also means they feel you are responsible and motivated and will do OK without their help. Please prove them right.

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