Enjoying the sight of women in swimsuits just got more complicated.
According to recent reports, one-piece bathing suits are making a comeback. For fans of modesty and hygiene, this is happy news.
But men need to be careful. Because one-piece suits can seem relatively tame, there’s a tendency to relax one’s vigilance against the pitfall of ogling. And no one aspiring to be a gentleman wants to be caught, you know, staring.
So let me spell it out. Here are four reasons women’s one-piece swimsuits can get a guy in trouble.
1. When there are not obvious expanses of feminine skin all but shouting “It has been 1.5 seconds — avert your eyes now!” a daydreaming man can find himself unabashedly looking at a woman in a one-piece. And looking. And looking … until he and many of those around him realize he is transfixed by the womanly form in his field of vision. That’s not good.
2. A little extra fabric does not necessarily mean one-piece suits require that a male overly tax his imagination when speculating about how the lady in question might appear in, say, private settings. So just because it’s not a bikini he’s seeing, a guy can still find himself stepping briskly down the path to perdition, so to speak. Or at least he might run the danger of looking like some goofball wearing $1 X-ray specs purchased with a comic book coupon decades ago, still wondering why they don’t work.
3. Because some styles of one-piece swimsuits do, in fact, make it harder to see the whole truth, the careless heterosexual man will fix his gaze in laser-like fashion to get past the suit’s various ruffles and frills. That can be interpreted as rudeness. And no amount of protesting that you are hard-wired to be interested in well-turned, uh, ankles will get you off the hook. You aren’t 13.
4. A woman’s most fetching feature is her smile, and somehow substance-implying modest swimsuits only serve to make that expression even more dangerously beguiling.
Today’s Slice question: Where does the West begin and end?
sponsored According to two 2015 surveys, 62 percent of Americans do not have enough savings to handle an unexpected emergency, much less any long-term plans.