I was in a hard plastic chair waiting for a prescription when I noticed a display rack filled with the drug store chain’s little in-house magazine.
It was the spring 2013 issue and touted itself as a “Guide to Healthy Living.”
A picture of a tabby kitten dominated the cover. The teaser next to the cat said “Hello Kitty and…Goodbye Allergies! How to Cure Them for Good.”
Sure, I thought. You bet. Cure them for good.
I have had butt-kicking allergies to pets since I was very young. And I have heard this promise before – many, many times.
Sometimes the proposed magic is herbal tea.
Other times it is miracle honey.
Getting off dairy is always popular.
Washing the pet every day has a few believers.
And sometimes breathing exercises or non-shedding breeds are the proposed solutions.
Maybe some of that has helped people. I hope so. But my allergies to pets aren’t that simple. I don’t “get sniffles.” Just taking antihistamines and riding it out is not an option. And, no, the problem isn’t all in my head.
But I like cats and dogs. So, though skeptical, I picked up the magazine.
As anticipated, the article offered nothing new. Most of it was about allergy shots, which help some people more than they did me during the 20 years I took them.
So I made a silent vow: “I’m not going to even start reading another article of this ilk until I see that it was written by a dog or cat.”
Here are the sorts of headlines that might entice me.
“Fluffy’s Purr-fect Tips for Overcoming Pet Allergies.”
“Now it can be told: One collie’s story of helping his owner breathe freely.”
“Furries Tell All: What to do when your host says ‘Oh, well, I’ll just put our pet in the other room and everything will be OK even though the entirety of this home is suffused with dander.’ ”
“The Story of Bubble Kitty: How one brave feline’s willingness to wear a spacesuit when indoors saved the day.”
“Fur Your Love: How $1,000 worth of tuna can help you bond with your neighbor’s cat.”
Today’s Slice question: What do people fail to understand about your allergies?
sponsored Jargon is confusing, by definition. And the financial world has its own set of cryptic words.