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The Slice: Fine, after this, no more pets on the bed

Fri., March 8, 2013

Let’s start with some feedback.

“Paul, please stop the pets on the bed (items),” wrote Lynda Post of Moscow. “I’m tired of you ruining my morning coffee with visions of pets’ butts on pillows. Pets should be on their OWN beds! Don’t get me wrong, I had a golden retriever that I loved dearly. She had her own bed in a dog house in the garage. She loved it.”

OK, I’ll give the pets on the bed thing a rest. But first this from Wade Griffith.

“My late father, former Hecla CEO Bill Griffith, used to complain that they were so poor that they had to sleep five to a bed. He, my mom and three Siamese cats.”

See you in the funny papers: Readers were asked what comic strip character they resemble.

“Without question, Hagar the Horrible,” wrote Randy Harnsch. “He is my hero.”

Harnsch said he and the comic strip Viking share a fondness for beer and procrastination, among other things.

Then there was this from Peter Yocum. “Growing up with the last name Yocum, I heard lots of L’il Abner and Dogpatch witticisms.”

Those who remember that comic will recall the colorful Yokum clan.

Said Yocum, “I tell anyone making a comment nowadays that they are really dating themselves.”

Rewriting the “Viewer discretion advised” warning: A) “If everything about modern life offends you, don’t watch this TV show.” B) “Contains the usual coarse, vulgar stuff.” C) “We know what you want to see, so stay tuned.” D) “If insanely violent images would be disturbing, you must not watch much TV. Congratulations.” E) Other.

Today’s cleavage euphemism: “While touring Germany several years back, our guide told us that women with large bosoms were referred to as having a large woodpile on the front porch,” wrote Ellen Spalding.

Doing someone: Baseball announcer Jon Miller was talking to the host of a public radio show when he said he believes everyone can do an impression of at least one person.

If that is true, who is it that you can vocally imitate?

Today’s Slice question: How do you mark your territory?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email In one of the best movie Westerns, it’s great how Shane and Chris Calloway part as friends.

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