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Annie’s Mailbox: Lying husband hoarding wrecks

Mon., March 11, 2013

Dear Annie: My husband hoards cars and is too lazy to fix them. Now he is lying about money, saying, “Oh, this is set aside to fix the cars.” But I know he is frittering it away and wasting his time. He always has excuses about why he can’t fix the cars, but if that’s the case, why hang on to them?

We have more than 10 cars on our lot, and only one is really drivable. Another is a collectible that he doesn’t like to get dirty. The rest are wrecks. He acts as if the drivable vehicle belongs to him, but he bought it for me when I graduated college as a replacement for one that was stolen. He drives it every day, and I have to beg to use it. I have lost my mobility and independence, and he doesn’t care.

I work full time and bring in a decent income. He is retired and watches videos and putters around on the computer. I am angry and tired of his lies. If he really wanted to fix the cars, he would. I am sick of all of the excuses and lies. Why doesn’t he do something about these wrecks? Some have been sitting there for 20 years. – Frustrated in Northern New York

Dear Frustrated: Somewhere in the back of his head, your husband believes he will get around to fixing these cars. He is reluctant to part with them, because it means giving up that little fantasy. The wrecks may be annoying but are not critical to your marriage. Taking the only usable car, however, is a problem. Can you afford another car? If so, get one for yourself. If not, stop begging. Tell your husband the car belongs to you and you intend to use it to get to work and run errands. Maybe it will give him some incentive to deal with the wrecks.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737Third Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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