March 30, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Welcome to our new slogan: ‘Wake up and lift it’

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Don’t be an April Fool on Monday.

Here are seven things to keep in mind.

1. Be suspicious if someone comes up to you and says “You’re not going to believe this but…”

2. Don’t buy it if the phone rings and the person on the other end says “Darrell, this is President Obama.”

3. Be skeptical about reports involving talking marmots or asteroids hurtling our way.

4. If you appear to have received a suggestive email from Scarlett Johansson or George Clooney, pause and consider the likelihood of that.

5. Get confirmation about any reports of Mount Rainier erupting.

6. Don’t fall for it if your spouse comes inside and says the Monday paper weighs 10 pounds.

7. Despite what your deskmate says, you probably don’t have a facial rash.

Just wondering: Was a picture of you all dressed up for Easter ever part of a home slideshow? Where are those slides today?

Not wanting to be THAT guy: “The one with the faux large animal testicles hanging from the tow hitch on their jacked-up pickup,” said Ken Yuhasz.

A problem with the problem: A reader’s grandson, a third grade student, was assigned a certain task as homework. He was to come up with a story problem.

Here’s what he wrote. “I have three frogs who eat five crickets each day. What time should I feed them?”

The boy’s mom found this amusing, which might have annoyed the young math scholar. Because when his mom asked what the answer is, the boy dismissively said, “Duh, at night.”

Warm-up question: There was a time when Air Force personnel could be counted on to be familiar with the film, “Dr. Strangelove.”

Some found it hilarious. Others were offended. But pretty much everyone associated with bombers and tankers knew the movie. At least that’s how it seemed.

I’m guessing that is no longer true. Am I right?

Today’s Slice question: There are quite a few songs that mention the names of streets in places such as Kansas City or Memphis, but not Spokane.

So what local thoroughfare would sound good in the title or lyrics of a song?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. After Kenyon Fields checks out a library book, he tries to visualize the last person to have borrowed that volume before him.

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