May 14, 2013 in Features

Open marriage must have honesty

Kathy Mitchell
 
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Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been happily married for 15 years and recently decided to try an open-marriage lifestyle. We are doing this with full honesty and respect for each other.

The main problem is that the dating success is not equal. I found it easier to get a date, whereas my husband is having a tremendous degree of difficulty. He has online dating profiles, but no luck. I am seeing someone who is a wonderful person, but I want my husband to experience new things along with me.

Open marriage is still considered taboo, and it is extremely important to my husband and me that we are honest about our marital status with any prospective date. Even though he is happy for me, I feel compelled to help him. But I’m not sure how to do it without overstepping unspoken boundaries. – Open but Lost

Dear Open: Are you sure your husband wants this as much as you do? He may have agreed to the arrangement only to please you. We think you need to have this discussion again and let your commitment to honesty lead the way. Ask your husband whether he is truly happy with the idea of an open marriage and, if so, what you can do to make things easier for him. Marriage, “open” or otherwise, requires the ability to communicate.


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