May 14, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Spokane move mostly good news

By The Spokesman-Review
 
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

Is moving here a good idea?

Let’s try to answer that.

Plunging into the S-R’s electronic archives, I searched for articles and columns in which “moved to Spokane” appears.

Perhaps by looking at the headlines on these stories we can determine if, in fact, relocating to Spokane is a wise decision.

So let’s examine a few of the headlines.

“Artist, her daughter plan to take part in studio tour”

Sounds pretty upbeat to me.

“All-you-can-eat fare with a fresh twist”

Are you kidding? Somebody’s happy. Who wants more?

“Adoption Evangelists: Couple share recipe for growing a family”

This suggests that at least some newcomers are part of the solution.

“Murder suspect to be extradited”

Well, there’s always someone who just spoils everything.

“Schools chief open to input”

That’s nice. Even if it might have been more interesting if she had said, “No, I won’t be open to input. It’s my way or the highway.”

“Cemeteries hold more than dead”

This isn’t as alarming as it sounds.

“Extravagance alleged in fraud indictment”

So, OK. Stuff happens. It’s not just a Spokane problem.

“Pensive Paint: Artist contemplates modern cultural influences”

Isn’t that exactly what an artist should do? Welcome to Spokane.

“School, job helped change student’s life”

Sounds like another Spokane success story.

“Couple has eye on big picture: ‘Everything I wanted plus a few extras’ ”

See: Near nature, et cetera.

“Input sought on use of force report”

Again, it might have been more entertaining if the newly “moved to Spokane” police chief had then specified that input would be gathered and ignored.

“Sociable cat by any name: Friendly feline welcome wherever he lives”

Yes, but I’m guessing he is especially welcome here in Spokane, where residents are waiting to pat newcomers on the head and offer a treat.

Today’s Slice question: So did you grow up to be exactly the sort of bourgeois adult Mad magazine parodied back when you were reading it decades ago?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. A friend said that if he becomes ill he doesn’t want visitors because that whole “surrounded by family” thing must be a bad omen.


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