May 17, 2013 in Features

The Slice: If only everything about the past was so clear-cut

By The Spokesman-Review
 
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

Pam Meyer’s 8-year-old granddaughter was paging through her grandmother’s 1963 Marycliff High School yearbook and she had a question.

“Was everything black and white then?”

Re: being asked if you found everything: “Paul, I have been known to annoy the hell out of grocery store checkers by responding ‘Well, I was looking for love but I didn’t find it, so I must have been looking in all the wrong places,’ ” wrote Mike O’Neal.

“Once, without missing a beat, the checker deadpanned, ‘Did you try aisle 13?’ ”

The store had only 12 aisles.

Childbirth on TV and in the movies: “The mother always looks as if she just came from the beauty shop with hair done and makeup perfect and the baby always looks to be about 6 months old,” wrote Patricia Klingman.

Lisa Huff said TV and movie mothers who have just given birth often look like they “just rolled off the cover of Vogue magazine.”

Slice answer: “My answer to your question today about hand placement when jumping into a cold lake would be … hands firmly placed over mouth to stifle the screams about to ensue.” – Marje Peterson, Hayden

Assumptions about the Northwest: Joan Tracy’s sister in California was surprised to hear that Joan encountered Republicans up here.

“And we’re out”: Bob Curry has been known to say that as he pushes the power button on his TV remote at the end of the news.

Of course, he worked in television for 34 years so he has had practice saying that.

Occupational tans: John Petrofski said the claims adjuster tan is like a farmer tan except one ear (the one that has been covered by a phone for eight hours) is not tanned.

And Jack McGrath offered this. “Each spring I would develop my Elementary School PE Teacher’s Tan. My legs would be tan from just above my ankles (top of my socks) to my knees (just below my shorts).”

Today’s Slice question: Your spouse or significant other does a laughably poor job of disguising that he or she finds what actor/actress powerfully attractive?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Janet Culbertson said Whitworth’s Jody Valentine is the nicest person in the Inland Northwest.

Get stories like this in a free daily email


Please keep it civil. Don't post comments that are obscene, defamatory, threatening, off-topic, an infringement of copyright or an invasion of privacy. Read our forum standards and community guidelines.

You must be logged in to post comments. Please log in here or click the comment box below for options.

comments powered by Disqus