Let’s start with a Slice answer from Jennie Larson in Moses Lake.
“What you don’t see on TV or in movies when women are giving birth is the woman breathing along to the coach’s singing.
“When my husband and I were taking Lamaze classes back in the ’70s, the men were given songs to sing and the women would breathe in time to them, to the beat.
“Our favorite song was ‘Yankee Doodle.’
“ ‘Yankee Doodle went to town a’riding on a pony/Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni.’
“If you sing that, you can hear the rhythm and see how easy it would help you concentrate on breathing.
“OK. The time came for our first baby to be delivered and I was in hard labor and I was getting all discombobulated on breathing. I yelled, ‘Larry! Yankee Doodle! Yankee Doodle!’
“Cow-eyed, he looked at me and out of the blue he started singing James Cagney’s ‘I’m a Yankee Doodle dandy, a Yankee Doodle do or die.’ Yada yada. Like that is easy to breathe to!
“Anyway, baby was born.
“All good. We laugh about it now. The next two kids, he got it right.”
So, you’re probably wondering. What did they name that first child?
They could have called the baby Macaroni, Mac for short.
Or Yank. Or Janqui. Or Y’ankey. Or Yoodle.
Or Doodle. Or Dewdle. Or Dude. Or Doodleton. Or Doodlebop.
Or Feather. Or Pony Boy. Or Cagney. Or Dandy. Or Dhandelle.
Or Eeknay. “Here, little Eeknay. Come have your juice.”
Or, well, use your imagination.
But no, they opted not to refer to the childbirth song stylings when selecting a moniker.
They named the baby Ryan.
Multiple-choice readership survey: The Slice Blog at www.spokesman.com turns 2 this week. A) The what? B) Never read it. C) Never read it or the print Slice. D) I read it once. There wasn’t anything in it about me. E) I think it’s odd to see a newspaper blog with so much easily clickable free porn. F) I have never read it, but I know it would not interest me. G) I find it jejune. H) My ex-wife likes Paul Turner. Need I say more? I) I hate computers and the horse they rode in on. J) Other.
Today’s Slice question: Can you tell when someone’s workplace flirting is about to cross the line?