Dear Annie: I’m one of two daughters. Both of us have two sons. Long story short, one of my sister’s sons has borrowed thousands of dollars from Grandma, received a nice car and has never paid any money back. The other three boys have never borrowed a penny.
I am the executor of Grandma’s estate and have power of attorney. When something happens to Grandma, I’m in charge. She’s not going to have a million dollars, but when her estate is eventually divided, I believe it would be perfectly fair to exclude the one grandson. What do you think? – Trouble in Hubbard
Dear Hubbard: It may be “fair,” but it could estrange you from your sister, not to mention your nephews. What does Grandma think? If she is of sound mind and wants all of her grandsons to receive equal shares, you have an obligation to follow her wishes. You could discuss with her the option of deducting the money her grandson has already borrowed from whatever is left of his share. You also could give the grandson an object of sentimental value in lieu of money, so he doesn’t believe his grandmother forgot about him. Whatever the final decision, please discuss it with your sister as a gesture of good faith and ask her opinion. She may or may not agree with your assessment, but at least she won’t be shocked and angry when the time comes.