The Slice: If it’s sunny outside, he’s sad inside
Today The Slice presents a transcript of an exclusive interview with the Spokane guy who says “It’s too nice outside to be in here working.”
As usual, you won’t believe what he had to say.
Q: Are you under the impression that adulthood is supposed to be nonstop playtime?
A: Look, I just hate to waste a sunny day.
Q: Do you realize that, come summertime, sunny skies are not unusual in Spokane?
A: That’s not how I remember it. Seems like last summer we had one stretch of two or three days where it was cloudy and in the 60s. Darn near froze.
Q: How do your co-workers react when you spout your signature line?
A: One guy who sits near me says “Woo-hoo!”
Q: Should you have pursued a career that involves working outdoors?
A: Nah. Those jobs tend to require lifting stuff.
Q: Isn’t the “Too nice outside” line is a bit of a cliché?
A: Bite me.
Q: Does your workplace productivity dip during Hawaiian shirt weather?
A: I play hard. Sue me.
Q: How perfect does the weather have to be before you say it’s too nice to be inside working?
A: I say it unless people with health issues are being advised to stay indoors because of particulates.
Q: What about rain?
A: Once spring is over, rain seldom lasts long around here
Q: Should kids look out the classroom window and declare that it is too nice out to be cooped up in school?
A: Could you blame them?
Q: What is the ideal outdoor temperature?
A: I’ll take 95 degrees any day.
Q: Would you be happier if you never had to go to work?
A: Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I like regaling colleagues with tales about my weekend at the lake. And sometimes there are snacks.
Q: Do you regard “It’s too nice …” as simply seasonal small talk or do you think of it as a mission statement?
A: It’s a bold declaration of freedom, an existential cry.
Q: But what about work that needs to be done?
A: It can wait.
Today’s Slice question: Is there a summer song you associate with kissing?
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email email@example.com. At least one Slice reader heard about the birds and bees on a camping trip.