October 12, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Litterbugs show fondness for hydration, healthy snacks

By The Spokesman-Review
 

She was delayed this year because stinging insects were still out in force.

But here, at last, is Teresa Vanairsdale’s annual end-of-the-season Eastshore Road (Priest Lake) litter report.

“The first trash I spotted was half a pair of women’s bikini underwear.”

Maybe a dingo ate the other half.

She went on. “Water bottles eclipsed beer containers, and fancy granola bar wrappers like Mrs. May’s Trio bars were abundant. It was a disappointing year for beer but Keystone and Bud Light were in a dead heat. One interesting wrapper I found was an empty Backcountry All Natural Tobacco packet. Who knew smokers want an all-natural product? By far the most prolific litter was 150 S-shaped Styrofoam packing pellets that had come to rest on both sides of Eastshore Road for the whole 2.2 miles. Oh well, I don’t judge. I just report.”

Questions that come to mind when you see the neighbor’s cat in your home office devouring a yellow Post-It note: Is she going to choke on that?

Is there something important written on it?

Should I try to pull it out of her mouth?

What would life be like minus a fingertip or two?

Is she eating that because she wants to produce a hairball?

If we eventually realize a phone number was on that note, will “The cat ate it” sound plausible?

Why won’t she stop even though I am saying “Don’t eat that”?

Is she going to have room for her snack now?

Slice answer: Patty Thomas saw the question about things thrown away ages ago that might now be prized Spokane collectibles. She had an answer. “My season pass to Expo ’74.”

She remembers clearly. “I received it as a Christmas gift in December 1973.”

She was a teenager. “At the time I was disappointed, not really knowing what it was really about and the fact that it could not be used until spring was another point of contention in my teenage mind. Turned out to be one of the best gifts I ever received. Took the bus all summer long with a girlfriend.”

Today’s Slice question: If you were a snake being handled at a Bible-thumper religious service, what would you do?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane. WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. According to The Slice Bureau of Sports Statistics, the average college football game lasts slightly more than nine hours.


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