Dear Annie: We belong to a dinner group with six married couples. One of the couples divorced after the husband caught his wife having an affair. He no longer comes to the dinner parties, but the ex-wife still shows up and brings her new (married) boyfriend. They have been together for three years.
Here’s the bigger problem: She flirts with my husband at every social activity. She always gives him a hug when we run into her. He is always pleasant and chats, when I’d rather he was less chummy.
I assume it was the alcohol that prompted him to do this. However, it apparently fueled her fire. At one dinner party, she leaned across the table toward me and made a comment about my husband’s “size.” I kept my cool and replied that it wasn’t her business, but my husband, who was sitting right next to me, said nothing.
At the dinners, we act like friends, but I am sorely tempted to give her a piece of my mind. My husband is getting aggravated with me. He claims he’s never cheated on me and she’s never touched him inappropriately. He says, “What am I supposed to do?” I asked him to delete her cell number, but he has not done that. This woman is not my friend, and I think she’s crossed a line. Any suggestions? – Had Enough
Dear Enough: As always in such cases, the problem is less about the woman and more about your husband’s reaction. He allows her flirting and even encourages her, and then becomes annoyed with you for doubting him. It undermines your trust. There is no reason for him to have her phone number in his contact list. Ask him to delete it while you are watching. Then tell him all of his future responses to this woman’s inappropriate remarks should make it clear to her that he is not interested. If he refuses, the next step is counseling.