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The Slice: Go to the head of the class

Tue., Sept. 3, 2013

Hey, kids!

Take a tip from your old pal, Uncle Slice.

When you get to school, you might be tempted to sit in the back of the classroom where you can engage in alienated observations about life and love with your fellow jackanapes.

Don’t do it.

Be bold. Sit right up front. Pay attention once in a while.

OK, I realize seating charts determine where you will be in some classrooms. But it would not hurt to ask your teacher if you could move up front.

Sure, your friends might give you a hard time. Maybe they want you to wind up mired in lousy jobs and a disappointing life.

What do you want?

The S-R reader who cares least about football: Please meet our first nominee, Lisa Giegel.

On Thursday, after retrieving her morning newspaper, she noticed the special section devoted to football. Addressing her dog, she posed a question in which the hindquarter of a rat was invoked. A shorter version would be “Who cares about football?”

Giegel was ready with an answer. “Not me.”

Nick Suksdorf, said he does not care about but cannot totally escape football because his wife is an “obsessive” University of Michigan fan and his favorite bar tunes its televisions to grid action in the fall. “Praise the lord for wine in a box and a covered patio.”

And Keith Waggy said he would not attend the Super Bowl even if offered $1,000 to do so.

On a roll: “Often, on my morning run through the Valley, I see a 70-ish man pushing his very old bulldog (or maybe a pug) in a baby stroller,” wrote Jim Clanton.

The canine is comfortably situated on a pillow.

“The dog and the man both seem quite happy with the arrangement. It always makes me smile.”

Maybe you have something for an upcoming Expo ’74 exhibit: If so, contact Karen Mobley at (509) 321-9614 or km.artsfund@

She is interested in hearing about any and all photos or memorabilia but is especially eager to get her hands on a catalog from a world’s fair art show juried by Peter Voulkos.

Today’s Slice question: How many times did you get sent to the principal’s office?

Write The Slice P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Head lice stories always welcome.

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