September 9, 2013 in Features

Seeking Mr. Right can create tangled web

Lisa Copeland McClatchy-Tribune
 

When dating online over the age of 50, it’s easy to take some missteps while looking for Mr. Right. Here are five of the most common mistakes boomer women make:

1 Only viewing profiles of really good looking men.

Too often, we are attracted to the beautiful people because let’s face it – their looks rub off on us, making us look and feel better about ourselves. Just standing next to them makes us feel like our value goes up.

The problem with the best looking people online is they are the popular kids, and everyone wants to be with them. It doesn’t mean they will make the best boyfriend, husband or date. It just means they look good.

2 Judging a book by its cover.

Yes, we do need to be attracted to a man to date him. A lot of average looking men who might make great boyfriends get passed over. Remember the guy you met in real life who was just average until you got to know him?

As you discovered his personality, he started appearing more and more handsome to you. You might be passing up really great guys who just don’t take a good picture. Before you throw “average Joe” away for his looks, read his profile to see if there is potential between the two of you.

3 Interviewing a man on a first date.

First dates are for having fun. It’s a meet and greet where the two of you start the process of getting to know each other. That’s it. Yet, many women go into a first date with this huge pressure on their shoulders of having to figure out if this man is “the one.”

As women over 50, we don’t need a husband to make babies anymore. This is a time in our lives where we can play and have fun with men in our relationships. Take advantage of this. You may find a wonderful new friend. The icing on the cake would be that he turns into your next boyfriend or even husband.

4 Being an online pen pal.

It’s smart to keep the emailing process to no more than five to seven emails exchanged with each guy. An email relationship is a fantasy and a lot of information gets shared on a deeper level due to the false sense of safety emailing provides.

When and if you meet, you might find he’s not the person you thought he was and you won’t be happy you shared so much information. It’s better to keep emails down – and phone calls to one or two each. Then set a time to meet to see if the two of you might be a fit.

5 Overlooking men who are different from your usual type.

Do you have a male type you love to date? It doesn’t mean he’s the best man for you. In fact, this type may have made you miserable in your past relationships. But it’s scary to get out of your comfort zone by dating someone different.

And yet if you do, you might have the possibility of finding a relationship that can make you really happy for the first time in a long time. How great would that be?

Lisa Copeland – “The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!” – has a website at www.findaqualityman.com


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