September 26, 2013 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: Sister still friends with boyfriend’s ex

Kathy Mitchell
 

Dear Annie: I started dating “Zach” 18 months ago and have been living with him for almost a year. Things are perfect except for one thing.

Before we met, Zach dated another girl for three years before me. She was horrible and hurtful toward him. When I began seeing Zach, his ex started harassing me to the point where I had to take out a restraining order against her.

The problem is, Zach’s older sister is still in constant contact with the ex. She always talks about her in front of me and even allows the ex to babysit her children. She often invites the ex to go places with her and posts pictures of the two of them on Facebook.

Zach has had many fights with his sister about this, telling her how hurtful it is to both of us, yet she still continues to do it. I’ve tried everything possible to make his sister like me, but I can’t keep competing with the ex. It’s causing a strain between Zach and his sister. I don’t have issues with anyone else in his family. What can I do to get the ex out of the picture permanently? – The Current Woman in His Life

Dear Current: Zach’s sister is doing this for one of two reasons: Either she likes getting your goat, in which case, your response is very gratifying for her. Or, she doesn’t want you to dictate who her friends can be. Either way, your response should be the same: Ignore it. If her main purpose is to annoy you, she will become bored with the tactic when she sees it has no effect. And if she is truly friends with this woman, the relationship is not your business. The added benefit of ignoring it is that Zach will be grateful. You already have his total support, and that is what counts.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.


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