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The Slice: Some seasonal rituals require further explanation

Sat., Sept. 28, 2013, midnight

Here’s your big chance.

I’ll send coveted reporter’s notebooks to the readers who…

1) Offer the best excuses for why they will not be able to rake leaves when the time comes.

2) Suggest the best festive rituals for celebrating the upcoming Spokane Sprinkler Blowout season.

Let’s move on.

Maybe there’s a lesson here: Ever wondered if you have some strange power to influence events? I have.

On Halloween of 2010, the features section ran a straight-faced story I had reported and written about our area’s readiness for a zombie uprising. (Hey, the theme was not quite so done-to-death at the time. TV’s “The Walking Dead” actually made its debut that very night.)

Almost all of the officials with whom I spoke were good sports about this. They answered my admittedly ridiculous questions thoughtfully and with good cheer.

A few though, such as the chief of police, refused to take part. That was their right, of course.

But here’s the thing. I just looked around and every one of those noncooperative officials is no longer in Spokane.


Requesting your input: I’m trying to get a sense of touch football’s regional distinctions.

So, if you ever played touch football, please answer the following questions. And please be sure to note where you lived at the time.

If “tacklers” had to place two hands on the ball carrier, was “below the waist” also a requirement?

Those on the defensive line had to wait how long before rushing the passer? How was this time-delay measured? Was the name of a state involved?

As there was not multi-angle video replay available, how were disputes settled?

Were blockers allowed to leave their feet?

Were there any special rules for coed touch football?

Warm-up question: Have you ever bobbed for apples? Were you good at it? Did you catch a communicable disease?

Today’s Slice questions: Sweaters or sweatshirts? Why? Or do you prefer apparel that does not include the word stem “sweat”?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email There are Inland Northwest residents perpetually bitter because they strongly suspect that you have never heard of them.

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