April 4, 2014 in Features

The Slice: Garden-variety metaphors don’t impress 4-year-old

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Let’s do one more of these.

“When my daughter was about 4, she wanted to know how a baby got into mom’s belly,” wrote Patty Conway. “I tried the usual ‘Daddy plants a seed,’ et cetera. Not good enough. She wanted the mechanics. So I tried to explain.”

Afterward, the little girl had one comment: “My daddy wouldn’t do that.”

Slice answers: “If Rocky had been a marmot (instead of a cartoon flying squirrel), Boris Badenov would have been stationed at the Russian pavilion at Expo ’74 and probably we still would not have gotten him to go home,” wrote Bruce Au.

“When did I last dance?” wrote Nadine Joubert. “Considering I won’t dance unless I’m dead drunk, I really couldn’t tell you.”

Dale Helbig saw the question about reacting to seeing someone walk through a clearly marked area where you were trying to grow grass from seed. “If I was armed at the time, I might fire a warning shot,” he said. “In defense of my answer, grass is very difficult to get started in our part of North Ida(don’t)grow.”

In the matter of waking up and not knowing what day it is, The Slice heard from Cathy Harris.

“I work nights, weekends and different days each week. I sleep in a room with blackout curtains, so I may wake up unsure as to day, time, whether I need to go back to sleep or whether I am working. If I have had a good vivid dream about visiting Europe (as I have several times), there may be a question of which country I am waking up in also.”

And regarding name-spelling, there was this from Kim Connolley.

“I have helped many teachers in a local school district reach their own personal records for misspelling someone’s name,” she wrote. “Our oldest daughter’s first name is Kaythryn, intended to be pronounced Katherine, Katie for short. The extra ‘y’ at the first half of the name was intended to honor my mother, Kaye. The second ‘y’ has something to do with the Tylenol No. 3s and no one in the room as I filled out the birth certificate.”

Today’s Slice question: If you’re so busy where do you find time for all that TV watching and online antics?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Co-workers’ kids as babysitters: Good idea?


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