The Slice: It’s never too soon to dream of summer

There must be a rift in the space-time continuum.

I don’t know how else to explain the fact that it is only four weeks until Memorial Day. Exactly four weeks.

And we have used up all of our time-outs.

Let’s move on.

How to tell people to wise up: Here’s an email from Charlotte Thacker that arrived at Slice Headquarters Thursday.

“Today’s Spokesman item on the recurring duck feeding problem at Manito Park reminds me of my own recurring problem: How and whether to point out to the ‘offenders’ that feeding the birds is not only unhealthy to the lake, but also unhealthy for the birds. (White bread — argh!)

“I’m always dissatisfied with the way I communicate (or worse — don’t communicate) the concerns involved. I am reluctant to correct parents in front of their children, and I don’t wish to appear to be a supercilious old biddy either. But what about the lake? What about the birds?

“Maybe you could ask your readers how they handle these situations.”

Sweet and sour: “I recently celebrated a birthday, and not long afterward had an alarming revelation,” wrote Diana Witherspoon. “Apparently when a woman (even if she has been a professional almost all her life) reaches a certain age, a tattoo appears on her forehead that says ‘Feel free to call me Hon or Honey.’ I compared notes with my sister, who reached the milestone a couple of years ago, and she said ‘Oh my God, I thought it was just me!’”

I asked Witherspoon for a gender profile of the perpetrators.

She wrote back, “I think women are much worse.”

A lesser problem: If you record a certain TV show five times a week, it’s possible the recordings could habitually start with the last few seconds of the preceding program, a show you would really prefer to not even glimpse.

Today’s Slice question: Of all the people in the Inland Northwest who ride their bicycles to work, who has the absolute safest place to store it upon arrival?