August 8, 2014 in Features

The Slice: Think trivia’s trivial? Only if you’re stupid

By The Spokesman-Review
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

What does it sound like when supposedly serious grown-ups engage in trash-talking?

I’ve wondered since learning that the newspaper would enter a team in the upcoming Spokane Trivia Championship sponsored by the Spokane Public Library Foundation.

Newsrooms are full of know-it-alls. So this is the perfect event for us.

But what if no other teams show up on Oct. 2 at the Bing Crosby Theater? Nobody wants to win by forfeit.

That brings us back to trash-talking. Perhaps one way to encourage others to sign up for the competition would be to contact rival know-it-alls and do an impression of a loquacious NFL cornerback taunting a receiver.

I could call a doctor friend and loudly suggest that I know why his internal medicine group is not fielding a trivia team.

“It’s because you punks would go down!”

Or perhaps I could email one of my friends who is a lawyer and go all “Christmas Story” on his or her posterior.

“I double-dog-dare you!”

I could even phone college professors and do my highly regarded impression of a clucking chicken.

Not sure how the Public Library Foundation would feel about that. But it might work. And aren’t results what matter?

Of course, I should save some verbal jabs for Brand X Spokane media.

I could reach out to a free weekly newspaper that once called me “aging” and thoughtfully inquire, “Who’s your daddy?”

I could even invite Spokane TV news operations to field trivia teams and attempt to prove that they are not airheads.

Of course, trivia success really isn’t really about smarts. It’s about memory, having lived a life of esoteric time-wasting and luck.

But the library is a good cause. And the event in early October could be fun, especially if my team is so far ahead that other competitors and members of the audience start inquiring about a mercy rule.

To find out about sponsoring a team, go here:

Or call (509) 444-5318.

Today’s Slice question: Are the dreams you experience while sleeping usually set in the Spokane area?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email You might rig your alarm clock to play the opening chord of “A Hard Day’s Night.”

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