August 18, 2014 in Features

The Slice: Ballad of the 59-year-old boomer

By The Spokesman-Review
 
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

If you really want to keep track of baby boomers (and who doesn’t?) the best way might be to check in with the “59-year-old.”

The 59-year-old was born in the exact middle of the 1946-1964 boomer birth range. Monitoring his activities might shine some light on how things are going for the inescapable generation.

As usual, the best place to start is the S-R’s electronic archives.

So what has the 59-year-old been up to lately?

Well, for one thing, he “failed to negotiate a curve and went off U.S. 95” on a motorcycle.

He survived, but I guess the reflexes and reaction time start to go at some point.

And then he got mixed up in a French campaign finance scandal. But let’s remember that he “hasn’t been convicted of anything and remains well-known on the international stage.”

So he’s got that going for him.

Of course, the 59-year-old wasn’t feeling so great after he “fell on the south side of Mount Hood.”

That can smart.

It was a different incident, however, that resulted in him being “taken to Kootenai Health and Medical Center by helicopter.”

But in some cases it would seem he had only himself to blame. Such as the time police said intoxication was involved when the 59-year-old “was arrested at about 12:30 p.m. Wednesday at the airport’s main terminal.”

How embarrassing.

In another caper, he was apprehended by authorities at an Oklahoma motel after he “had spent more than a month on the run.”

Well, he gave it the old college try.

But it hasn’t all been bad news. The 59-year-old “filled in as a substitute for Henderson for the first few weeks of this year’s legislative session after Henderson broke his hip.”

I wonder how our man is going to deal with turning 60.

Things that anger many around here but that you manage to ignore: Bad drivers, said Eric Rieckers. “I simply refuse to go through life being irritated at drivers who appear to have worse driving skills than my own.”

“Democrats,” wrote Pat Williams.

Today’s Slice question: Did you ever sit next to a paste eater in school?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Ever worn a Jethro Bodine rope belt?


There is one comment on this story. Click here to view comment >>

Get stories like this in a free daily email