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The Slice: Savoring the end of shorts season

THURSDAY, AUG. 21, 2014

There are several ways to observe the soon-to-be-waning days of shorts season.

Here, let me count a few of them for you.

1. Dance, dance, dance the night away.

2. Wade into the water and locate some flat stones for skipping.

3. Undergo leg-vein surgery.

4. Wear them so tight that certain onlookers are prompted to quote the Richard Dreyfuss character (Matt Hooper) in “Jaws” … “You may want to let that breathe.”

5. Stage your performance art piece – “Northwestern Dad, circa 1970” – featuring sandals, dark socks and shorts.

6. Show someone the scar on your knee and tell the story.

7. Be a rebel and challenge your workplace’s dress code. (Assuming, of course, that your shorts wearing does not violate the health code.)

8. Quote H.G. Wells: “The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.”

9. Do not quote Rod Stewart.

10. Declare that you have achieved the ever-elusive state of casual elegance.

This date in Slice history (1997): “That bra belonged to someone else: In her review of a recent Sammy Hagar concert, the Swell Paper’s Winda Benedetti mentioned that a woman attending the show presented the rock singer with pair of red panties and a matching bra. He hung them on his microphone stand.

“Benedetti subsequently received email from a reader who wanted to set the record straight. ‘The panties were mine but not the bra.’ ”

Slice answer: “I remember when I was about 7 years old I was determined to go off of the ‘high dive,’ ” wrote Colleen Berkompas, who was on a swim team. “Being the youngest of four, my older siblings would not let me do it.”

But she convinced her coach to monitor the deep-end leap.

“I carefully climbed the many steps to the top and walked to the edge of the board. Before I jumped, I made sure that my siblings all saw me.

“Standing on the edge, I waved with huge arm motions and an even bigger smile on my face as I jumped.”

Today’s Slice question: A colleague recently became a U.S. citizen. What does she need to know about being an American?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Always go for two.

 
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