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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Overcome relationship breakdowns

Barton Goldsmith McClatchy-Tribune

Relationship breakdowns happen for a multitude of reasons, and all of them are preventable. Here are some ways you can keep your love life on a positive track.

• Let go of grudges. When you feel resentments starting to build, talk to your partner, so you can resolve the issue.

• Avoid taking your partner for granted. You have to continue to do things to make your partner see how much you care for him or her.

• Face adversities with your partner. If your mate has a problem, you need to be there.

• Be trusting of the person you share your life with. If you worry about your partner cheating or leaving you, or you don’t trust that he or she will do the right thing in a particular situation, discuss your fears.

• Help your mate rise to the challenges that we all face. Partners often start to fight more when they’re disturbed by changes in their lives, but by being sensitive and supportive, you can stop the fighting before it starts.

• Discuss and deal with problems head-on. If you don’t, your problems will only grow and become more difficult to solve. Communication is your best ally.

• Don’t let anxiety or depression stop you from living a full life with your partner. We all have difficult days. It’s part of life. When your mate is down or overly worried, do your best to be a cheerleader.

• Do new things together to avoid boredom and to enhance your bond.

• Speak what’s in your heart. Being afraid to be vulnerable or to speak important truths will keep your intimacy from growing. Talking about what really matters fosters closeness.

• Learn to stand up for yourself. If you feel your partner is being a bully, and you’re not getting your needs met, you need to clearly state what you need from him or her. If your partner won’t hear you, it’s time for couples counseling.

• Maintain your faith in your relationship. When you do, you keep unhealthy patterns of relating from developing.