August 26, 2014 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: MIL’s will leaves nothing to DIL

Marcy Sugar and Kathy Mitchell Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: I have been married to a wonderful man for 30 years. We have a large, supportive, loving family on both sides. I love my mother-in-law dearly. We have always had a wonderful, close relationship.

Here’s the problem. In Mom’s will, it states that if she passes away before my husband, he receives the inheritance. If my husband passes away before his mother, our children receive the inheritance. While this is fine, it hurts me that I am not mentioned at all. My husband has talked to his mother about this oversight, and she said this is the way she wants her will set up.

I have been a good wife, mother and daughter and don’t understand why she would ignore me this way. I don’t expect to inherit money, but a special token would be nice – perhaps a piece of jewelry that she wore or a cherished keepsake. The point is knowing that she thought of me.

Are most wills set up this way? I feel like I’m not really a part of her family. – Very Blessed, But Hurt

Dear Blessed: Most wills are set up to provide for children and grandchildren. Spouses of the children are sometimes included, but not always. There is often a worry that the child will someday divorce the spouse, and the family heirlooms would end up with someone who is no longer related. It’s also possible that by limiting the beneficiaries to immediate blood relatives, Mom is preventing rivalries between spouses. Please try not to think of this as evidence that your mother-in-law doesn’t care for you. We don’t believe that is the case.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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