January 12, 2014 in Features

The Slice: 90 problems, and a slight tremor is one

By The Spokesman-Review
 

There are two kinds of people in the Inland Northwest.

People who drive on Interstate 90 almost every day. And those who do not.

Here’s how you can tell who’s who.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to have a slight tremor in one hand.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to wake up in the morning with a spring in their step.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to have nightmares about trucks.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to burst into song now and then.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to have various facial tics and inexplicably flinch about 30 times a day.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to see the glass as half full of a delightful elixir.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to mumble dark prophecies about the end of days.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to talk a lot about kittens.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to listen to angry music and watch revenge movies.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to fall asleep during yoga.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to need more fiber in their diets.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to be good listeners.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to grind their molars.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to be slow to rile.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to post abusive online comments.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to wear Hawaiian shirts.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to have hypertension issues.

Those who do not drive on I-90 every day tend to remember lines of poetry.

People who drive on I-90 every day tend to be married to people who work at home.

Warm-up question: You probably don’t have many occasions when you need a computer to open the pod bay doors. But if there was a HAL 9000 in your life, what would it refuse to do?

Today’s Slice question: What might be the best way to make the most of the weekend in February bracketed by Valentine’s Day (Friday) and Presidents Day (Monday)?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Lots of readers recalled, often with a tinge of nostalgia, the era when almost all stores were closed on Sundays.

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