July 1, 2014 in Features

The Slice: ’Til death do us part, eh?

By The Spokesman-Review
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

Revealing that I was married in Canada sometimes invites questions.

Well, what better occasion to address those queries than Canada Day?

Q: Does getting married in Canada count here in the U.S.?

A: As far as I know, it does.

Q: Do you have to bow to the queen of England?

A: No. But I would want to be polite. And I like corgis.

Q: Does getting married in Canada mean you buy the NHL’s rationale for allowing fighting in hockey?

A: No.

Q: Does getting married in Canada imply that you are not a loyal American?

A: Take off, eh!

Q: Did you play songs by Rush at your wedding?

A: No. But I have nothing against Rush.

Q: Did you and your wife go to the Neil Young concert last time he was in Spokane?

A: We did.

Q: In what province were you hitched?

A: Alberta.

Q: Before you were married, what was the location of your “best date”?

A: Montreal.

Q: Did you know that much of the movie “Roxanne” was filmed just up the road in Nelson, B.C.?

A: I did.

Q: What do you think of the Canadian national anthem?

A: “O Canada” is great.

Q: Did you know that there are quite a few transplanted Canadians living in the Spokane area?

A: Yes. They tend to be terrific people.

Q: When you get married in Canada, do you have wear a beaver hat and exchange vows via loon calls?

A: No.

Q: Ever tasted poutine?

A: No.

Q: Does getting married in Canada mean you have to say your vows in both English and French?

A: It does not.

Q: Did you know “Hockey Night in Canada” gasbag Don Cherry spent a year in Spokane in the 1960s?

A: Yes.

Q: Where does the government’s hard copy of your marriage paperwork reside?

A: Edmonton.

Q: It takes a pretty big ego to interview yourself, doesn’t it?

A: I’m an American.

Q: How long do marriages made in Canada last?

A: Forever.

Today’s Slice question: What’s your Second Half of the Year’s resolution?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Not everyone recognizes the name Allan Sherman.

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