July 12, 2014 in Features

The Slice: If loose lips sink ships, welcome to the Titanic

PaulTurner
 

So I was about to undergo a minor surgical procedure the other day.

Because of an anti-anxiety drug I had been given, I was feeling relaxed and talkative.

The subject of the S-R and some of its resident personalities came up. As I recall, I offered candid observations.

I just wish I could remember exactly what I said.

Let’s move on.

Finish this sentence: If the people in the Spokane area who hate bicyclists had their way …

Moving day: A friend told me about how, years ago, his young son hijacked a porch-side robin’s nest next-door (complete with eggs) and transplanted it to a bush in his own yard. He used duct tape to make sure it was securely situated.

After the boy’s mom discovered this, the lad was instructed to gently return the nest to its original location and apologize to the neighbors.

If by some miracle those prenatal birds eventually hatched, they probably had stories to tell.

“Oh yes, my family did quite a bit of traveling before I was born. I remember being at sea. Or perhaps we were riding a train.”

Speaking of birds: “We hang a large basket of petunias next to our front door every year,” wrote Marcia Lemaster. “The first year we hung the basket, a family of purple finches made it their home. Mama would have a fit when my husband walked by and attack him. So he had to start entering and exiting the house through the garage. She never cared if I was there. I suspect she didn’t like his baseball caps.”

Slice readers are invited to share their theories about why a bird might have a problem with baseball caps.

What selling door-to-door teaches you: “When someone buys a whole bunch of light bulbs, they don’t need any more two weeks later,” wrote Greg Mott.

Warm-up question: To what Spokane TV news reporter would you never grant an interview?

Today’s Slice question: Are you so good-looking that some of your neighbors are reluctant to chat you up because they fear their spouses will take a dim view of it?

Write The Slice at P O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokseman.com. Clark Battan’s grandson Tucker attends Wedgwood Elementary in Seattle, where the school mascot is the Mighty Marmots.


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