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The Slice: Daydream of motorcycling runs into reality of marriage

Mon., July 28, 2014, midnight

So this guy, Joe, looked longingly at a man riding a motorcycle.

“There but for my wife, go I,” he said with a sigh.

Told of this later, Joe’s wife subsequently asked him if he could afford a motorcycle and a divorce at the same time.

In the matter of how many organizations contact you only when they want donations: “I can’t count that high,” wrote Pat Cole of Kellogg. “It seems like we have about 10 pounds a week of that type of mail.”

In the matter of managing bathroom traffic: “My family, the Oakleys, had a one-bathroom home with four kids, a fifth born in 1968 and a foreign exchange student for one year,” wrote Jane Oakley. “There was no privacy or modesty and if I ever tried to get away by taking a bath in the evening somebody always had to go ‘Now.’ So you pulled the curtain, turned on the water and hoped they hurried. …I have no idea how we did it.”

Then there was this from longtime correspondent Keri Yirak. “The real question is how does a family survive when they are doing a complete gut-job remodel of their one and only bathroom.”

Another Monday morning tale of a turkey carcass in warm weather: Just before Thanksgiving 10 or 15 years ago, Brenda Green’s mother delivered plastic-wrapped frozen turkeys on behalf of a social service agency. As she made her rounds, she stowed the birds in various nooks in her car.

The next spring Green’s father said the interior of that car stunk. Green’s mom, suffering from sinus problems, could not detect the odor. Nevertheless, she set about cleaning out her vehicle, a convertible.

She discovered, nestled in the space behind the back seat where the retractable roof goes, a bloated turkey way past its sell-by date.

Henceforth, that space in the car was known as the turkey holder.

Today’s Slice question: What percentage of its residents want Spokane to be like some sort of suburb and not an actual city?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Sue Hille wouldn’t want to wear a T-shirt with her first name on it because she’d rather not appear to be proposing lawsuits as the solution to every problem.

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