June 12, 2014 in Features

The Slice: To marmot disrupters, not-so-stiff actions await

By The Spokesman-Review
 
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

Seeing as how we are just a day away from the only Friday the 13th of 2014, this might be a good time to go over a few lesser-known Spokane superstitions.

For instance, did you know that some consider it bad luck to have multiple felony convictions and to associate only with those who also have extensive criminal records?

Or were you aware that developers of a certain gender who obliterate marmot habitat are all but guaranteed to experience a special Spokane version of erectile dysfunction that no pill or unnecessarily large truck can fix?

Some say it is good luck to tousle the hair of a Spokane TV newswoman seconds before she goes on the air.

Finally, did you know that it’s considered unlucky to step on an Internet troll? You can slip off and twist your ankle.

Today’s memorable ice cream cone story: When Bill Mahaney was about 8, he spent the day with his father at his dad’s workplace, a funeral home. At lunchtime, they went to a nearby café.

“After lunch, as we were leaving, a small girl carrying an ice cream cone went ahead of us. She got outside, stumbled, dropped her cone, and burst into tears. My father took her hand, led her back inside, and replaced her cone.”

Slice answer: There are so many medical professionals in Barbara Greer’s extended family that deciding who to call with a question typically involves first selecting the proper specialty.

Catch and release: Several readers argued that as long as you don’t hook your fishing partner, errant casts are no big deal.

Slice statistic: Because of their ability to be perpetually shocked/dismayed by things that happen here (and in virtually every other city of any size), 11 percent of Spokane residents are fundamentally ill-suited for urban life.

Warm-up question: What’s the best way for a nonfather to respond to being wished a happy Father’s Day? A) “Thanks.” B) “One of Spokane’s finest inventions.” C) Other.

Today’s Slice question: If your swimsuit could talk, what would it say?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman were killed on this date in 1994 in Los Angeles.


There are two comments on this story. Click here to view comments >>

Get stories like this in a free daily email