June 16, 2014 in Features

The Slice: What good are wise words if they go unspoken?

By The Spokesman-Review
 

I routinely see acquaintances at a distance and immediately begin thinking of something to say.

Then, as I get closer, I realize I was mistaken and that the people in question are actually strangers.

But here’s my plan. Henceforth, I intend to go ahead and say the lines I came up with. I mean, why waste material?

Sure, those to whom I am speaking might be baffled. I suspect, though, that they will figure it out.

“Hey, have you been in another benches clearing softball brawl?”

“What?”

“I guess you don’t like hard tags. Don’t blame you.”

“I’m sorry, I think you …”

“Oh, well. Good to see you.”

If Post Falls resident Donna Kelly’s swimsuit could talk: It might say, “Hoo…gotcha covered.”

In a big country: “My husband and I recently relocated to middle Tennessee from Pend Oreille County,” wrote Lori Davenport, formerly of Ione and Metaline Falls. “You were right — fireflies are a wonder to behold! They have been doing their magical dance for about a month now and I’m still mesmerized. More evenings than not, after the sun sinks behind the Tennessee hills, I take to the field in back of the house. What a wonder it is to stand and watch the light show.

“Our dog is a patient soul as she sits nearby until I’ve had my fill for the evening. Last night was particularly beautiful as the remnants of the day’s thunderstorms passed in front of the full moon.

“On occasion I’ve even managed to gently catch and release a glowing bug. My husband just smiles at me, says ‘That’s my girl,’ and gently closes the screen door as he leaves me in quiet contemplation.”

Just for the record: The Day After Father’s Day was not invented in Spokane. It just happens. Still, there’s nothing saying you can’t make the most of it.

The Slice recommends dressing like Ward or June Cleaver at home today. Or drinking more water.

Today’s Slice question: If you drove an ice cream truck, what song would you want to hear coming out of the loudspeaker all day?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. If Victor Buksbazen’s swimsuit could talk, it might say “Take me off! Take me off!”


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