Expo ’74: Long hair, don’t care

Those too young to have been around for Expo ’74 often have questions about the popular culture of that time — especially regarding the lifestyles of young adults.

So today The Slice presents an easy-to-use Q-and-A template to help readers of a certain age handle common queries about life 40 years ago.

Q: What was with the hair back then?

A: Well, we thought it looked good.

Q: Seriously? You thought those ludicrously long locks were attractive?

A: Well, yes. Perhaps, in hindsight, not every style was a winner. But we felt those looks expressed our various modes of alienation and showed where we stood vis-a-vis the establishment.

Q: Ahahahahahaha. Right. The thing that kills me is that both boys and girls managed to look ridiculous at the same time. Didn’t someone older ever take you aside and offer a few words to the wise?

A: We would not have listened. We were intent on doing our own thing.

Q: Even if it made you look like total maroons?

A: Um, yes.

Q: You realize, of course, that the nonconformists of that era — the ones who got buzz-cut “I favor a police state” hairstyles — looked 10 times better than you long-haired leaping gnomes?

A: That’s a matter of opinion.

Q: Wasn’t that supposed to be an era of free love? Well, what I want to know is this. How were young men and women of that era able to maintain a state of amorous arousal? How come they didn’t look at one another and then dissolve into paroxysms of laughter?

A: Because of the hair?

Q: Yes! With everyone looking so silly, how could anyone, you know, function?

A: I’m not sure how to answer that.

Q: Well, let me ask you something else. Did you need to have outlandishly long hair before you could drone on and on about stereo systems?

A: Yes, I believe it was a requirement.

Q: OK, one last thing. Getting back to that horrible 1970s hair. Could it be that nobody noticed how insane those styles looked because everyone was stoned?

A: Dave’s not here, man.

Today’s Slice question: Do you have any solstice rituals?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Sue Hille would have her ice cream truck play discordant music that would repel customers, then she would eat all the ice cream herself.

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