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Religious limits don’t compromise

Mon., June 23, 2014

Dear Annie: I have several cousins who are celebrating weddings and baby showers this summer. Several of my aunts will not attend any of these events if they are not held in a Catholic church. They say it is against their “rules.” One aunt sent a reply saying she would not attend the outdoor wedding because it was not being held in a church. Another aunt replied to a wedding shower invitation that she would not attend it at a Lutheran church hall because it was not her religion.

I find these replies to be quite rude and judgmental. Should something be said? Should we ignore it? Should future invitations not be sent? – Wisconsin

Dear Wisconsin: Catholic weddings are supposed to take place in a church, officiated by a priest. If your aunt will not attend any wedding that is not sanctioned by the church (generally meaning an interfaith marriage), please respect that. And while that is not a problem with wedding showers, there are those who will not enter the place of worship of a different religion. That, too, is their choice. These religious restrictions don’t leave a great deal of room for compromise.

The aunts were rude in explaining (which apparently felt like lecturing) the reasons they would not attend. Simply saying, “Sorry I cannot be there,” would have been simpler and kinder. But your choice is to invite those with whom you wish to celebrate, and theirs is whether or not to come. Please say nothing more about it.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, in care of Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

 

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