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Miss Manners: Seeking refuge from candid photos

Wed., March 5, 2014

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I feel intimidated and insulted (perhaps assaulted) by everyone and their cameras.

Everywhere I go lately, everybody is taking pictures with their cameras and phones. It’s a constant barrage, and then, “Look! Look! How do you like this one? HAHAHA! Let’s do it again. Oh, now it’s my turn.” On and on and on.

I am not crazy about having my picture taken to begin with. And now there is the concern about what they are going to do with it. I don’t want to end up on someone’s social media page.

How can I tell people politely that I feel like they are compromising my privacy and ruining a good time? I feel totally all right with the old practice of a picture or photo from time to time. It is just this barrage of “candid” shots that makes me want to hide out!

GENTLE READER: Reasonable as your point is, it is unlikely to be taken well. Either you will yourself be accused of ruining a good time, or the image of you scowling disapprovingly as you lecture the photographer will turn out to be just the candid snapshot the offender was hoping for.

Better to render the photograph itself uninteresting. Miss Manners recommends a bored smile accompanied by turning away to notice something off in the distance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do the parents do when their daughter gets engaged?

GENTLE READER: Some dance in the streets; others try to lock her in her room.

Miss Manners advises a short rest period following either activity before entering into discussions comparing the couple’s idea of a perfect wedding with the parents’.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website,; to her email,; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


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