Annie’s Mailbox: Grandparents in a rush to visit grandbaby
Dear Annie: My husband and I are expecting our second child. When our first was born, my in-laws (who live out of town) visited shortly after the birth, and it was awful. They tried to separate me from our baby to have alone time with him. And instead of helping out, they created additional work, even though I was still recovering from the birth.
I don’t want to shut them out, but would like the first visit to take place at least a month after the baby is born. My husband is understanding, but likes to please his family. How can I tactfully schedule a visit to preserve both my sanity and my relationship with my husband’s family? – Not Looking Forward
Dear Not: Your husband must agree to support you in this request. It would be best if he could convince his parents to wait before visiting. And of course, this is not their first grandchild, so they may be perfectly agreeable. If not, we recommend you enlist the help of your pediatrician to suggest that it’s better for the child to wait until he has had his first set of immunizations (usually at two months).
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Glad the Holidays are Over,” whose mother-in-law hogs the conversations and constantly talks about herself.
That was me! For years, I was loud and abrasive, hogged conversations, interrupted and didn’t listen, thinking instead of what I was going to say next. I thought I was the life of the party and had to keep conversations going.
I learned my lesson when I met another person like me. I heard people say how he wouldn’t let anyone get a word in edgewise and that he must not care about others. What an eye opener! Since then, I’ve learned to ask others questions and actually wait for the answers. It’s a relief not to be responsible for all of the conversation, and it allows me to get to know people better.
Please cut this out and send it to those who feel they must keep talking to avoid odd silences. – Minot, N.D.