May 5, 2014 in Features

The Slice: Let’s just say a campfire works better than a match

By The Spokesman-Review
 

We all know that 1974’s “Blazing Saddles” was not a documentary.

It was a Mel Brooks comedy set in the Old West.

But in your experience with camping, is the après beans sitting-around -the-fire scene hauntingly realistic?

Let’s move on. Quickly.

Planning your family’s big gathering: How does it sound when you add “fest” to your last name?

What to say to someone feeding ducks at city parks: Among Jan Treecraft’s suggestions is saying “I’m guessing you entered the park from a direction that didn’t allow you to see the sign over there.”

Just wondering: What do you do when a small child says something to you in a language other than English that you do not comprehend? A) Say “Talk American, kid.” B) Glance around for an adult who might translate. C) Smile, point and softly compliment the child’s hair/sneakers/outfit/bear. D) Other.

Slice answer: “I start gearing up to not do Bloomsday the day after Bloomsday,” wrote Dennis Dolle.

Warm-up question: Many years ago, back when recording programs off TV involved VHS cassettes, I taped a marathon of “The Dick Van Dyke Show” being presented on a cable channel that might not exist anymore. I thought it would be the perfect fare if my wife or I were home sick, recovering from surgery or whatever. We already knew all the episodes by heart, so that black and white sitcom could be enjoyably viewed even in a woozy state.

As I recall, those tapes never got watched. I’m not even sure we have the capability of playing VHS cassettes at my house anymore. But I thought about that the other day. And now I am wondering.

If you were convalescing at home and feeling too zonked to read, a marathon viewing of what show would help pass the time?

Today’s Slice question: Have you ever had a pet that shed an almost unbelievable amount of hair — so much hair that you had to wonder how there could be any dog or cat left?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. After seeing a mention of putting baseball cards in bicycle spokes, Jeff Anderson noted that properly positioned balloons actually made “a much more satisfying rumble.”


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