The Slice: In search of a good scoop

Here’s an offer unlike any you might have received from this newspaper.

How about inviting me to come over and pick up after your dog?

Over the years, I have mowed a North Side reader’s lawn. I have raked an Idaho reader’s leaves. I have played catch with a bunch of folks at Riverfront Park. I have skated on readers’ backyard ice rinks. I have attended readers’ parties in Spokane Valley and shown up for backyard cookouts. And that’s just what I can remember off the top of my head.

But I have missed out on a quintessential Spokane experience. I can’t have a dog. So I have never taken a family canine for a walk and whipped out a plastic bag after the pooch did its business.

Maybe you can help me fill in this gap in my Spokane lifestyle experience.

If you own a dog and wouldn’t mind having me walk along with you some afternoon or evening, please let me know. I’ll hold the leash part of the time, if you would like. And when your pet does what comes naturally, I will call out “Good dog!” and scoop up the droppings.

This would help me understand life in the Inland Northwest. (Or at least provide material for another column.)

But I have another reason for wanting to do this. A few years ago, I wrote about someone depositing bagged dog doo in my trash barrel. I was indignant.

Because the perpetrator practically had to walk all the way around to my back door, I felt it was over the line.

In retrospect, I might have overreacted. My colleague Rich Landers said it made me sound like a private property nut.

In any event, as a result of that column, I occasionally encounter readers who assume that I do not care for dogs.

That bothers me because I like dogs better than people. I just happen to be allergic to them. Dogs, that is.

I would welcome the opportunity to clarify the record.

So if you or your whole family wouldn’t mind company on a dog walk, let me hear from you. Tell me why I should pick you and your pooch over other candidates. Thanks.

Today’s Slice question: What do you suppose my neighbor’s cat will think of this column?