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The Slice: Trail mix? More like back-seat mix

Fri., May 16, 2014, midnight

Let’s say your family is going over to Glacier National Park.

It has taken some doing. But finally, everyone is in the car. You are on your way.

You have been on the road for maybe 10 seconds. Someone inquires about accessing the cooler stocked with sandwiches and other treats.

One adult’s inclination is to say, “No, we’re saving those for later.”

But another adult, a male person who has been getting high on the aroma of mayonnaise, flashes the green light. And in an instant, like sharks in a feeding frenzy, your family dives into the cooler with maximum gusto.

As a result, most of the lovingly prepared comestibles are devoured before you have even gotten out of your neighborhood.

If you think yours is the only family that has ever done this, you are wrong.

The Slice confession line is open. Feel free to tell about the time a lunch prepared “for the road” got hit hard just moments after you backed out of the driveway.

Slice answers: “Here’s a funny, horrrrrrrrribbbbbbble story about mispronunciation of names,” wrote Ann Martin.

“So my maiden name was ‘Heylman.’ The ‘ey’ is pronounced as a long ‘i.’”

Now let’s go back in time with Ann.

“I’m a freshman in college – 18 years old. Pretty self-conscious, and no raving beauty.

“Huge lecture hall. Professor is going through the enrolled students list, reading each name out loud. Gets to ‘Annie Heylman.’

“Leaves out the ‘L.’

“Oh. My. God.”

Ginny Semler said her family’s last name gets mangled all the time. “The most common wrong pronunciation is ‘Selmer’ but the way that makes us laugh is ‘Smeller.’ ”

Joan Matlack routinely hears her last name mispronounced. But at least it was worth a laugh when she was on jury duty and got called “Matlock.”

Today’s Slice question: If you could say something to the person or persons who invented the pause function on TV remotes, what would it be?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email If the 7 section adopted “Hi-Ho culture fans!” as its slogan, would you recognize that as something once said by Bullwinkle the cartoon moose?

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