May 24, 2014 in Features

The Slice: At least today’s cars require seat belts

By The Spokesman-Review
 

For many of us, it is an increasingly rare experience.

But there is something about seeing cars still on the road that are the same make and model year as vehicles your family owned when you were a kid. It’s a powerful flashback.

Do you suppose children today will have a similar reaction decades from now when they see cars just like the one you drive now?

Today’s Slice question: When, in the middle of the night, you aren’t initially sure about the source of a sound that seems to be emanating from the vicinity of another tent at your campsite, what do you usually wind up concluding it is? A) A somnambulant moose. B) Yogi and Boo Boo accessing a pic-i-nic basket. C) Someone opening a rigid snap-shut plastic pie container. D) A country mouse startling your sister-in-law, who just opened her eyes and saw the rodent staring at her. E) A sleeper rolling over a squeaky toy.

F) Someone popping individual air chambers in bubble wrap. G) A bassoon. H) Ventriloquism. I) Raccoons playing UNO. J) You were dreaming about that old “From the land of sky blue waters” Hamm’s beer commercial.

K) Either snoring or someone using a ripsaw. L) Your uncle doing an impression of Felix from the “Odd Couple” trying to clear his sinuses. M) The results of food poisoning from improperly handled/cooked chicken. N) Your grandfather spewing 1966 infield chatter while he talks in his sleep. O) The way of all legumes.

P) Young cougars eating organic marshmallows. Q) A raucous, flashlight aided freckle-counting contest. R) A 10-year-old boy trying to tune in 50,000 watt radio stations a thousand miles away. S) A misunderstanding prompted by a mistaken-identity spooning overture. T) Someone who drank a lot of lemonade struggling to extricate herself from a 40-year-old sleeping bag with a stuck zipper.

U) A marriage encounter. V) Your brother discovering that having 11 beers was not a good idea. W) An owl enjoying a crunchy late snack. X) Your perpetually grumbling father-in-law blaming a politician for the fact that he can’t get comfortable. Y) Two people from different tents who had gotten up at 2 a.m. to answer the call of nature bumping into one another in the dark. Z) Other.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. There are ways to keep meetings short.


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