May 29, 2014 in Features

The Slice: What goes up must come down

By The Spokesman-Review
 
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

Let’s look at the pros and cons of treehouses.

(I’ll start and then you can pick up where I leave off.)

Pro: They are a seasonal classic.

Con: Sometimes gravity gets the last laugh.

Pro: Parts of the Spokane area have an abundance of sturdy trees.

Con: Your neighbors who hot-tub in the buff might raise a fuss about a treehouse with a clear view of their antics.

Pro: Having a treehouse in the backyard helps you see if any enemy ships are trying to sneak up.

Con: Certain parents cannot resist the urge to take over the project.

Pro: Once upon a time, quite a few 8-year-olds regarded “Swiss Family Robinson” as the greatest movie ever made.

Con: Birds with nearby nests can view a treehouse as a zoning violation.

Pro: It can be a learning experience for all involved.

Con: See “Lord of the Flies.”

Pro: Treehouses have always been summer’s launchpad for the imagination.

Con: Squirrels might derisively refer to it as a “McMansion.”

Pro: For overly protective parents, it can be therapeutic to realize that a treehouse doesn’t automatically result in a broken arm.

Con: In certain children, a treehouse brings out a powerful urge to exclude people.

Pro: Little kids talking like pirates. “Arrrrrrrr.”

Con: Backyard fruit wasted as “ammo.”

Pro: Good place for reading.

Con: Splinters.

Pro: A few decades from now, everyone will remember it as being twice as big, twice as grand.

Con: Sometimes a treehouse freaks out the family dog.

Pro: Water balloons.

Con: Water balloons.

Pro: A youth who learns some Shakespeare and spouts it from a treehouse is a child who will be remembered.

Con: If a kid already has bullying tendencies, a treehouse can be the setting for a master class in the depantsing arts.

Pro: It’s not an electronic screen.

Con: Sometimes a treehouse brings out a child’s inner prison guard.

Pro: Darn near nature.

Today’s Slice question: Ever teach someone to swim?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@ spokesman.com. Some people who don’t play golf imagine that it’s easy.


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