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The Slice: Sorry about ruffling feathers

Quite a few readers protested my decision to not print kids’ instructions for preparing a Thanksgiving dinner this year.

So I have come up with a compromise. I’ll share one more batch today. Then, next time, I’ll ask area children to tackle a new holiday assignment.

The following culinary tips, featuring advice from children in kindergarten and first grade, were passed along by Ginny Lathem, counselor at the Harrington School District.

Here are the turkey-prep steps to follow, according to a kid named Mac.

“Put it in a boiling bowl for water. Hang it on a little grappling hook thing. Then you drop it down in the boiling water. Cook for 15 minutes. Cut and eat it.”

Seems simple enough.

A student named Scout offered easy-to-follow advice.

“1. Put it in the oven. 2. Put it in a pan with water. 3. Eat it after you chop it up.”

I believe that’s known as “carving,” but no matter.

Here are Claire’s instructions.

“1. Get one from the farm. 2. Take it inside. 3. Put it in the oven for 55 minutes. 4. Cut it up. 5. Then you eat it.”

Uh, 55 minutes? Do they have 9-1-1 service in Harrington? Maybe she was thinking of using high heat.

CJ, a youth with a taste for adventure, recommended cooking the bird in the microwave. “Maybe it will explode.”

A kid named Turner suggested putting it in hot water and then placing it in the oven for two hours.

Donavin said, “On a warm fan you put it in an oven for 15 minutes.”

Perhaps you have to be an experienced cook to fully comprehend that.

A young chef named Ryan recommended that you “Cook it for ten hours.”

Hey, it will be ready when it’s ready.

Bella offered a four-step plan. “1. Pull its feathers off. 2. Put it on a dish. 3. Then cook it. 4. Then eat it.”

I guess it’s not rocket science. Or maybe these kids just assume you know what to do and there’s no sense yammering on and on about it.

Here, in their entirety, are Kade’s instructions for cooking a turkey.

“Put it in the oven. Take it out. Eat it.”

Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest family has the highest total of divorces?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. North Idaho’s Lee Coppess still has an Ohio State University marching band jacket from 1958.

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