The Slice: There’s no reason for Fido to fret

When the features section’s old Pets Page had to be put down in the late spring of 2002, the biweekly Furry Talk column went with it.

But every once in a while I hear from a reader who claims to miss a recurring feature of that column — the Q&A with local dogs and cats.

Well, as it happens, that mail still comes in. And as always, you wouldn’t believe the letters Furry Talk receives from Inland Northwest pets seeking advice.

To FT: “I am a border collie in Mead and my girl just went off to college. I have doubts about whether she can get along without me showing her the way. What should I do?” — Fretting Fido

Dear Fretter: There comes a time when you have to see if humans can make it on their own. Have faith in your girl. I’ll bet you trained her well. And be prepared to be hugged good and hard when she comes home for Thanksgiving.

To FT: “I am as tolerant as the next cat, but I do not enjoy being dressed up in a costume each Halloween. Biting or scratching are both out because my owner is a copious bleeder. So how can I express my feelings about this?” — Not a Witch in Post Falls

Dear Notty: If you can find out where the costume is stashed, you might anoint it with feline urine. You will have to endure a “Bad kitty!” or two, but your owner might be moved to throw it out.

To FT: “I love snow. The guy I live with hates it. Who wins?” — Airway Heights Airedale

Dear AHA: Assuming you get to go on walks, you do.

To FT: “The cat keeps staring at me. Any suggestions?” — Down in Birdland

Dear Birdie: If your perch sways back and forth, you might try hypnotizing the feline and then making it believe you are the son of Sylvester the cartoon cat — “Oh, Fahhhhther.”

Today’s Slice question: How many women who have observed their husbands or significant others interact with employees of either gender at stores, hotels, banks, medical offices, et cetera, have reached the conclusion that men receive better service?