September 1, 2014 in Features

The Slice: Yuletide segue awaits

By The Spokesman-Review
 

It’s Labor Day.

You know what that means. Stores are about to start playing Christmas music.

This year, instead of complaining about outrageous season creep, I’m just going to make requests.

If we have to hear Christmas songs insanely early, here are the ones I want retail establishments to play.

“Little Saint Nick”: If you ignore the lyrics, you can imagine it’s the Beach Boys addressing the last three weeks of summer.

Any of the Phil Spector produced Christmas songs: The wall-of-sound works in any season.

“Welcome Christmas”: It’s always the right time for Dr. Seuss. Well, sort of.

“Holly Jolly Christmas”: Might put you in a trance and prompt you to “Kiss her once for me,” which could be interesting.

“White Christmas”: Isn’t that Spokane’s unofficial anthem?

“The Holly and the Ivy”: Beautiful music is beautiful music, even if you are wearing shorts.

“Linus and Lucy”: If I haven’t gotten tired of this in 49 years …

Memories of being a crossing guard (Part 2): “In 1967 I returned to Spokane in the middle of the fifth grade and attended Bryant Elementary on Ash and Broadway,” wrote Hank Greer. “One of my new friends happened to be the captain of the crossing guard detail. There was an opening not long after I arrived and I got the job.

“We were not under adult supervision while we were posted. The canvas belt and shoulder strap with a crossing guard badge and traffic-stopping flag was pretty heady stuff for this 10-year-old. We enjoyed waiting for traffic coming down Ash to get right up on us before we jumped out with our flags and made them slam on the brakes.”

Gary Hutson wore the colors at Whitman grade school back when it included the seventh and eighth grades. “I was the lieutenant, badge and all.”

This made him a person with considerable status, an authority figure if you will. Then came ninth grade at Rogers High School and the sobering reality that being a freshman put him at the bottom of the heap.

Today’s Slice question: Is there any beach sand on or in your body?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Most modern squirt guns are difficult to conceal.


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