The Slice: Time to get your fill of Spokane audiences

The Slice asked readers to fill in the blank.

Spokane audiences are the (huckleberriest) audiences in the world. – Tim Gaines

Spokane audiences are the (most spaced out) audiences in the world. – Eric Van Gelder

Spokane audiences are the (most enthusiastic standing ovationers) in the world. – Dianne Cook

Spokane audiences are the (most uptight) audiences in the world. – Jan Oman

Spokane audiences are the (most apt to give a standing ovation for everything, and I do mean everything) in the world. – Robert T. Davis

An outhouse memory: Judy McKeehan’s family was at her mom’s cabin at Priest Lake. McKeehan’s second son, quite young then, returned from a trip to the outhouse. The boy’s dad asked if he had remembered to flush. “He actually started back and then realized he had been scammed.”

Autumn has arrived when…: “Christmas decorations first go on sale,” wrote Sarah Jensen.

Slice answer: “I do not consider fruit pie a food group,” wrote George Weisbarth. “It is a mandatory staple required for continued existence. Fortunately I am married to one of the best providers of said staple in Pend Oreille County (as many people up here can attest). I only like two kinds of pie … round or square.”

Things That Would be Mind-Blowing in Most of the Country Dept.: Terry Kolemaine sent photos of a moose giving him the eye about 20 feet from his house. “She and several others are regulars at my back door in south Spokane,” he said. “I’m from Seattle and there a moose might as well be a visitor from Mars.”

How to know if a stuffed-toy bear is an ursus arctos horribilis: “It’s really pretty simple,” wrote my friend John Kafentzis. “If the bear has an ‘M’ or ‘UM’ on it, preferably in maroon, then it’s a grizzly. Another sure sign: It plays ‘Up With Montana’ when you press the paw.”

Parental Sayings Dept.: Wayne Pomerleau’s mom said, “Don’t make a major production out of it.”

Today’s Slice question: What new song title could you create by replacing “Guns” with another word in Johnny Cash’s “Don’t Take Your Guns to Town”?