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The Slice: No worries come winter, mate

There are still a few details to work out.

Such as how to finance the whole thing and what to do about the Gonzaga basketball season.

But I have an idea.

You know how people here dread winter? Sure. Well, what if Spokane snow-haters got to experience endless summer?

How, you ask. Well, I’ll tell you.

We establish a duplicate version of the Lilac City in Australia and have virtually our whole population spend half the year Down Under.

Ladies and gentlemen, say g’day to New Spokane.

Just imagine a clone of our fair city plopped down in some previously uninhabited spot with a good water supply, affordable utilities and access to lakes.

Fairchild Air Force Base could migrate, too, and perhaps oversee the shuttling of our population to the Southern Hemisphere each October (and back north again in late March).

This is better than having a few snowbirds flee to Arizona. With New Spokane, we can all stay together.

OK, I know what you’re thinking. Who will feed the tropical fish and make sure the faucets are set to drip?

Relax. A few of us who enjoy many aspects of winter will stick around and keep an eye on things. Happy to do it.

Admittedly, businesses such as ski areas and parka-sellers would have to make adjustments down in New Spokane.

But just think. The Spokesman-Review will relocate as well, and there won’t be any more letters to the editor about studded tires or unplowed streets.

Of course, we would have to figure something out about how to schedule the school year. Still, I think you will agree this basic concept has merit.

If we closed up shop in Spokane each fall and mass-migrated down to New Spokane, the time and energy heretofore devoted to complaining about winter could be repurposed. There’s no telling what we could accomplish.

And don’t worry. I would continue to preside over meetings of the Wallaby Lodge, should the need for such gatherings ever arise.

Christmas would be different, that’s for sure. But not hearing Spokanians grouse about the weather would be a gift that kept on giving.

Today’s Slice question: What do 6 year olds like to eat?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Are business cards extinct?

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