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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Middle ground

Longtime mediator specializes in unbiased dispute resolutions

Leslie Grove is a professional mediator who works out of the Northwest Mediation Center in downtown Spokane. (Jesse Tinsley)
Michael Guilfoil Correspondent

Leslie Ann Grove’s specialty is mediation.

Sometimes when she tells people this, they ask, “Is that like meditation?”

“As a matter of fact, it is,” says Grove, executive director of the Northwest Mediation Center. “When you’re a mediator, you have to really focus on the present moment.”

Northwest Mediation is among 20 nonprofit dispute resolution centers in Washington.

It started in the mid-’80s as Community Boards of Spokane, restructured several times and assumed its current form in 2002. Grove, a former board member, resigned to become director last year.

The nonprofit provides both mediation and training. Negotiating parties pay between $30 and $180 an hour depending on income, compared with $150 to $300 typically charged by for-profit mediation services.

Unlike courts and arbitrators, mediators don’t make decisions. Rather they facilitate cooperation with the goal of helping disputants find mutually acceptable solutions.

“When I used to do family law litigation,” Grove recalled, “I’d come home and my husband would ask if I’d won. Sometimes I’d say, ‘Yeah, I won, but my client didn’t, because they had to pay a lot of money and go through a lot of heartache.’ ”

Mediation can minimize both the cost and pain of settling disagreements.

Grove has been mediating conflicts since 1986. During a recent interview in her modest office at 35 W. Main Ave., she discussed her transition from music educator to mediator, and what the two careers have in common.

S-R: Where did you grow up?

Grove: Deer Park.

S-R: Did you display mediating tendencies back then?

Grove: I think I’ve always tried to be a peacemaker.

S-R: What was your favorite class in high school?

Grove: Band.

S-R: What career did you envision for yourself?

Grove: Being a professional entertainer.

S-R: Where did you attend college?

Grove: I went to Gonzaga for two years, then transferred to Central Washington. I majored in music education at Central because my adviser said I needed something to fall back on. After college, I got a job on the West Side teaching music in junior high school.

S-R: What brought you back east?

Grove: I opened a music store and studio in Deer Park. Then in 1979, I got the chance to be a municipal court judge for a year. In some small cities you can be a judge even if you’re not a lawyer. I liked it, and when I was 34 I enrolled in law school.

S-R: Did you practice law?

Grove: Yes. I was with two local firms before opening my own office. I still occasionally do legal work for family and friends. But as far as the public goes, I’ve been a mediator exclusively since 1998.

S-R: Did you have a mentor?

Grove: Lots of them. One in particular was Cris Currie, whom I met while I still had my music shop, and who was my first mediation trainer after law school. His motto is, “We can work it out.”

S-R: You spend much of your time with people in conflict. How do you handle the pressure?

Grove: I’m trained to stay outside of the conflict, because it isn’t mine – it’s theirs.

S-R: What’s a good day at the office?

Grove: When you plan for a two-hour session, and the parties are so close to a resolution that they insist on skipping breaks, lunch, whatever, until the dispute is settled. I’ve even had people come into mediation as enemies and walk out hours later arm in arm. Those are the days I go home and say, “I love my job.”

S-R: What’s a bad day?

Grove: When I go home and think, “What if I’d just said this at a certain point? Would that have made a difference?”

S-R: What’s the right attitude for adversaries to bring to mediation?

Grove: A willingness to listen. Often in the course of mediation, someone comes up with an idea totally off the wall and it works for everybody. But if your attitude is “I know what my bottom line is and I’m not going to budge,” that precludes the possibility for solutions you never dreamed of.

S-R: Do you establish ground rules before mediation begins?

Grove: Yes. We talk about body language, and discourage things like eye rolling, name calling and using expletives – things that get in the way of a conversation. We also encourage the parties to focus on their interests and needs instead of their positions on how best to meet those needs.

S-R: What do mediators bring to the table?

Grove: Mediators are charged with the duty of being impartial. If I think I really know what ought to happen, then I’m including myself in the mediation. My job is to remain outside the conflict, and to help the people inside it come up with their own solution.

S-R: Is that hard sometimes?

Grove: It’s very hard, because we all have biases. But that’s what our training is all about. It’s completely different training from what you get if you’re going to be a lawyer, a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, a counselor or a therapist.

S-R: When a U.S. president sends a mediator to the Middle East, is their task similar to yours?

Grove: The issues are much more complex, involving more factions, money, land and history. But techniques used by all mediators are basically the same. We encourage parties to listen to what’s being said without evaluation, analysis or judgment – or rehearsal. Many times when people in conflict agree to meet, their minds are so preoccupied rehearsing how they are going to respond to a statement that they don’t hear what the other person is saying.

S-R: In your experience, do mediators tend to use their peacekeeping skills outside the conference room?

Grove: Some do, some don’t. I’ve been in groups of mediators who were among the most contentious people I’ve ever been around. I tend to avoid those types.

S-R: You’re also known as a professional musician and singer. Do those skills ever come in handy during mediation?

Grove: I think so. Mediation is very much like playing jazz. You have to improvise on a regular basis. And through improvisation, you and the other parties in the room can come up with some pretty creative solutions.

S-R: What do you like most about your job?

Grove: Seeing people make peace.

S-R: What do you like least?

Grove: The bureaucratic demands we must deal with in order to get government funding, and that sometimes keep people from mediation when they’re ready to sit down and talk.

S-R: Is there a busiest time of year?

Grove: Just before school starts, we see a lot of parenting issues.

S-R: What’s the career outlook for mediators?

Grove: Not so good. There are very few full-time mediators in this area. The vast majority are lawyers who mediate part time for profit.

S-R: When is mediation the best path to conflict resolution?

Grove: When you want to determine your own fate instead of putting it in the hands of a judge, counselor or pastor who will tell you what to do. But reaching a mutually satisfactory agreement requires that the parties receive the help they need to listen and speak in a productive, rather than destructive, way. That’s the mediator’s job.

This interview was edited and condensed.

Spokane freelance writer Michael Guilfoil can be reached via email at mguilfoil @comcast.net.